Maiden voyage

Hi, as this is my maiden voyage into the world of blogging I thought I’d start off by introducing myself. I’m 25 and live in the Midlands with my ever expanding menagerie of pets. My fuzzy collection includes Jaffa the cat whose favourite pass-time is terrorising the local dog population with his spectacularly illegal, kick-ass wrestling moves, Jacob the cat whose favourite hidyhole is in the rabbit hutch, and who fears nothing - especially water, Curly and Wurly the chinchillas, Roly and Poly the ever-humping tortoises, Wotsit and Quaver the rabbits, Flip the miniature albino frog who’s missing his partner in crime, Flop. Punky, McVitty and Yoyo the guineapigs, and an aviary of birds. You may have sensed a bit of a sweetie theme going on with most of the pet’s names! I also have a guide dog, Rilla, who once thought it appropriate to stop to have a big poo on the pavement right next to a dial-a-ride mini bus which an elderly lady was disembarking from at the time - nice one Rilla, I’m sure that raked in the donations to the Guide Dog charity! Oh yes and how could I forget the most weird and wonderful of my co-inhabitants, my boyfriend of 8 years, Liam... OK, wonderful might be stretching it a little bit, and weird not enough, but that subject requires a whole other page of it’s own – trust me!

As you may have gathered from the mention of my guide dog, I’m visually impaired which raises a whole host of philosophical questions such as; why are lamp posts always where you least expect them to be? And why do they think that leaving a sign out in the middle of the room warning you of a wet floor is less hazardous than a bit of water? It also brings with it a few amusing moments like the time I miss-judged the distance of the hoover and hit my face on the top of the pipe leaving a perfectly ring-shaped bruise on my cheek, and I have a partially sighted friend who once asked a cardboard cut-out of a woman where something was in a shop.

Here are a few other quick fire facts about me;
- The Craven dale cow coming back for her milk scares me!
- I can’t touch a wooden spoon or ice lolly stick without getting chills down my spine.
- When we received our annual water rates two weeks after moving into our first home, my boyfriend asked if we had left a tap running thinking that the charge was for water we had already used.
- And finally, my biggest beef in life is people who make that clucky chicken/sloppy pig noise when they eat, or whose nose makes that squeaky whistle when they breathe.